dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
