Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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