so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
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the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
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At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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