Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
