yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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