Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
