Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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