is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
