Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
