Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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