I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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