I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Randomize
