yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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