its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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