I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
