I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
