Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Ladies don't puke and tell
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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