She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize