you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
