bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
