So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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