nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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