I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
