im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
