I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We have so much sex to catch up on
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Pants are for mortals
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
