I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize