I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Who died my cat blue again?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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