I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
