What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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