just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
