Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
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you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
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This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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