You're so nebulous sometimes
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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