So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
