I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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