Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
