If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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