So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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