respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
