That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
