i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
