I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
