Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
