im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
