where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
