Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it

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(317): View more from Indiana

The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell

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(514): View more from Quebec

So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.

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(212): View more from New York

Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF

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(410): View more from Maryland

He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder

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