Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
