the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
