Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
