Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
