is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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