Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My room smells like vodka and shame
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my sisters under your porch take her home
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
