Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
