Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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