best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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