a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
