Me too!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
