YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
