He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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