Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.