I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
