What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
The uberlube is also flammable
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Ladies don't puke and tell
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!