she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.