i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
