I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay