Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?

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  (314): Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up? (573): I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up (314): Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days? http://tfl.nu/34og
  Replies (19) Good night (1177) Bad night (1726)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work

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  (806): a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work http://tfl.nu/5pwl
  Replies (19) Good night (805) Bad night (3994) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it

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  (508): Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it http://tfl.nu/y6rt
  Replies (16) Good night (4237) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition

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  (610): i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition http://tfl.nu/g0ip
  Replies (14) Good night (738) Bad night (4903) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.

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  (720): You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset. http://tfl.nu/s72o
  Replies (7) Good night (3829) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.

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  (402): In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/rvi7
  Replies (11) Good night (980) Bad night (4029) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL

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  (206): Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL http://tfl.nu/gjdn
  Replies (15) Good night (971) Bad night (3590) Order T-Shirt
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  (851): View more from

  Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.

  (522): View more from

  Don't break up.

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  (851): Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th. (522): Don't break up. http://tfl.nu/7rul
  Replies (12) Good night (2158) Bad night (462)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?

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  (208): Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend? http://tfl.nu/u4ww
  Replies (10) Good night (1642) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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  (441): View more from Bermuda-Carib

  You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.

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  (441): You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only. http://tfl.nu/b5c7
  Replies (2) Good night (1636) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text

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  (818): My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text http://tfl.nu/gbkg
  Replies (28) Good night (1494) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  Outside

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  (202): Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already (1-202): Outside http://tfl.nu/rkll
  Replies (16) Good night (2120) Bad night (260) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.

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  (630): I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide. http://tfl.nu/564g
  Replies (14) Good night (985) Bad night (614)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.

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  (719): your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well. http://tfl.nu/esbu
  Replies (5) Good night (928) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt
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  (473): View more from Grenada-Carib

  She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!

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  (473): She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?! http://tfl.nu/amuq
  Replies (5) Good night (390) Bad night (271)

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