just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.