If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
How's work?
Spinning.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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