I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
